NAKAKAIYAK, NAKAKAPANIKIP AT NAKAKAPANLILISIK

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Kapapalabas pa lang ng Hollywood remake ng Sigaw ni Direk Yam Laranas na The Echo two weeks ago eh ito naman ang new project niya na Patient X. Wow, may Laranas Film Fest this October! Siyempre bilang huge fan ni Yam kailangan first day pa lang todo support na ako! Naniniwala na tuloy ako na kailangan pa ng isang bagyo this week para ma-i-save na naman ni Richard si Cristine kung saan man siya stranded at this time kailangan helicopter na gamit niya. Ang Ondoy saving controversy at ang developan gimmick ay kulang pa para ma-i-save ang pelikulang ito! Gusto kong umiyak dahil sayang! Naninikip dibdib ko dahil sa big disappointment. Mas natakot pa ako sa mga mata ni Richard na nanlilisik from start to end. This is not the horror movie of the year sa kasamaang palad.

BUOD NG PELIKULA: Binalitaan si Dr. Lucas Esguerra ng kanyang kababata na umuwi kaagad sa kanilang probinsiya sapagkat nahuli na ng mga pulis ang pumatay sa kapatid niyang lalake dalawampung taon na ang nakalipas. Ngunit nasa ospital ang salarin at agad pinaalis lahat ng mga pasyente dahil delikado na ang ospital sa mga tao. Laking gulat ni Lucas na aswang pala ang pumatay sa brother niya. So tinawagan niya agad sina Zorro, Aguiluz at Captain Barbell para labanan ang mga aswang. Di raw available yung sugo at yung asero busy pa sa paggawa ng bahay para sa Full House.



Gusto mo bang magsisigaw this halloween? Gusto mo ba ng non-stop na tilian sa sinehan? Gusto mo ba ng mga makakapanindig balahibong kakatakutan? Hmmm... sad to say lahat ng mga iyan hindi mo mararanasan sa Patient X. Walang nakakapanabik na kuwento ang pelikulang ito. Walang twist. Walang thrill at suspense.. Walang gulat factor. Walang puso. Walang dating sa akin. Hu hu hu Direk Yam bakit ganito ang Patient X? Napakataas ng expectations ko sa movie na ito! Gusto ko talagang magsisigaw sa loob ng sinehan! Bakit hind man lang ako natinag? Yung character ni Richard na si Lucas bakit tanga siya? Akala ko pa naman doctor siya? Bakit ambait niya sa aswang kahit ito pa ang pumatay sa kapatid niya? Walang kasagutan sa mga tanong kung ano ba si Guada sa buhay ni Lucas talaga at parang gusto pang i-syota nito ang aswang?Bakit ganun ang mga aswang hind sila aggressive pumatay? Bakit nagtatago pa sila sa isang madilim na sulok kung hindi naman pala sila namamatay sa bala ng baril? Dapat sunggab kaagad! Dapat may habulan man lang! Wala lang naghihintay lang ang mga characters na papasukin sila ng mga aswang sa loob ng ospital at papatayin sila. Simula pa lang kasi nakakatawa na ang plot. Alam na nga nila na aswang ang nahuli nila eh bakit pa sa basement pa ng hospital ikinulong at inilikas pa ang mga pasyente na walang alam bakit nga ba sila agad-agad inilikas? Wala bang kulungan o kaya sa simbahan man lang itinali ang aswang?Naniniwala pala sila sa aswang so dapat naniniwala din sila sa Diyos! Mas importante pa pala ang aswang sa ospital kaysa sa mga pasyente? Bakit may mga sweet moments pala sila Lucas at ang aswang na si Guada? Romantic horror ba ito? Nagka-developan ba talaga sila last Ondoy? Gosh... the story sucks!



Halos lahat ng pawis ni Yam nilabas niya rito. Siya ang director, isa sa mga producers at writers, and of course kung saan siya nakilala: director of photography. Well, bilib pa rin ako sa mga kuha ni Yam kaso ewan ba bakit hind effective ang mga suspense scenes na ginawa niya rito. Maganda ang mga ilang eksena sa ulan. Ok naman ang execution sa mga gory scenes pero kulang lang sa dating na yung mapapasigaw ka ng Oh my God!!! Hindi mo na rin kailangang magtakip ng mga mata at magtitili ng “Di ko kayang panoorin yan!!!!” The aswangs are not that scary at all. R-13 pala ito so hindi pwede sa mga bata. Naku kahit nga siguro bata hindi matatakot dito. I'm sorry Yam hindi talaga ako natakot. Dalawa sa mga factors kung bakit effective ang horror film eh dahil sa sound at musical scoring pero parang walang naitulong ang mga ito sa suspense.



Sabi sa interview ni Christine Reyes: nilabas daw talaga ni Richard ang lahat lahat para sa challenging role na ito. Tama siya challenging nga ito for him! Nilabas ni Chard ang lahat! Nilabas niya lahat ng mga eyeballs niya!So kailangang palaging nanlilisik mga mata niya just to look scared! Chard ang pogi mo talaga pang-rom-com ka nga lang at fantaserye hearthrob. Nakakatawa acting mo Chard. Kumusta naman si Christine? Kuminang naman siya nang konti. Hindi naman OA ang actng. TJ Trinidad is just OK. Miriam Quiambao is promising for me.Pero natuwa ako at nakita ko si Mangatyanan Best Actress na si Che Ramos. Kahit small role lang ang sa kanya eh litaw naman ang acting niya. Doon sa last scene niya pwede naman sana maging suspenseful yun hindi man lang nilagayan ng spice kahit konti para magsisigaw ako.



Nakakaiyak ang Patient X hindi dahil madrama ito kundi dahil na-disappoint ako big time.Nakakapanikip ng dibdib dahil nasayangan ako sa project. Sana nag-produce na lang si Richard ng isang rom-com kasi doon siya magaling. Hindi ako nanood nito para matawa kundi matakot dapat. Baligtad eh. Kung ang aswang eh kinandado sa basement dahil delikado sa buhay ng mga tao. Well, pwede rin ba itong movie na ito ikandado rin nila kasi delikado mapanood ng mga tao baka ma-disappoint din sila. Sir Yam alam ko may project ka pang darating. Bawi ka na lang next time. Sana hindi mabasa ito ni Bisaya kasi lagot ako. Nelaet ko se Rechard eh.

Gusto mo ba talaga makapanood ng Best Aswang movie? Try mo Yanggaw. May nakapagsabi sa akin na out na raw DVD nito so you better check it out. Sa Yanggaw hindi ka lang makakaramdam ng takot kundi iiyak ka pa sa ganda ng kuwento.

TODDLER'S TREASURE

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First, we were enchanted with the gallant pig named Babe. That movie is a classic when it comes to talking animals. Take note it was even nominated in the Oscars for Best Picture. Few years ago a beloved classic book was also made into a film. I remember weeping inside the cinema while watching Charlotte's Web. Both films are still safe in my treasure chest called “Jishcand's Fav Movies of All Time”. This year a blockbuster movie that features talking animals again and guess what they are more hi-tech and they are not just farm animals on celluloid . They are even pampered via 3D-Technology too. The question is: am I goin' to keep G-Force in my chest. Nah...probably some toddler's treasure chest out there.



FILM PREMISE: Darwin is the squad leader of G-Force, a small, top secret group of highly trained guinea pigs armed with the latest high-tech spy equipment, working in a secret government program. Other members of the team are Blaster , an outrageous weapons expert with attitude; the sexy, long-lashed martial arts pro Juarez ; star-nosed computer-brains mole Speckles and a reconnaissance-expert fly. The trouble is, Kip Killian and the rest of the FBI want to shut the unit that Dr Ben and Marcie have created. So G-Force has to prove itself in the field and acquire evidence against Leonard Saber , who is using his electronics company for evil intentions.



G-Force is simply a family movie created for little kids. Two recent family movies released this summer such as Aliens In The Attic and Shorts failed to capture my heart and the last one annoyed me the most. G-Force is more deserving to be watched. Watching these guinea pigs is quiet amusing. Unfortunately , the story is lame but the gadgets we are going see here are the saving grace. The villain is not that hateful. It's really tiring to see a predictable common twist again. Obviously, this is inspired from Mission Impossible movies and they do a terrific job when it comes to manic scenes. The youngsters may probably get lost with some lines from the script which are actually comprehensible only by the adults but it's still copacetic coz Bruckheimer knows how to tease the kids' optic nerves. . G-Force offers a lot of kinetic visuals which are really enjoyable. Just imagine G-Force vs Transformers! The car chase at the latter part is also awesome!



Nicolas Cage has a huge billing in the poster but his voice is hard to discern in this movie. It's surprising to see his name during the end credits as the voice of Speckles the star-nosed mole. Nicolas Cage is amazing that he changed the tone of his voice. His weird voice fits perfectly with Speckles. It's a little bit disappointing to hear the voice of Sam Rockwell as Darwin the Leader. He is supposed to be energetic but he sounds clueless most of the time. Tracy Morgan from 30 Rock rocks the house!!! He is Blaster and his delivery is hilariously blasting . Penelope Cruz's voice as Juarez is very axiomatic coz of her accent but some lines from her are quiet hard to understand. I agree that she steals some limelight from the rest. I'm just surprised to see a very normal Zach Galifianakis in this movie. He really proves that he is not only capable of playing a very eccentric character but he can also be sweet and modest sometimes.



G-Force is a safe family movie and it's not offensive for the kids. Disney movies mostly are tearjerker but this one seems artificial. They want some tears from the audience but they certainly fail on that. Even though this blockbuster is not actually great but these guinea pigs beat Harry Potter last summer in the box office. I really wanted to be cruel with these pets for killing the magic of the boy wizard but after watching them I think this furry force is a little cuddly to me. Thanks to the 3D Technology.

THE ARCHITECTURE OF PRETTINESS

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We've seen Hollywood romantic comedies for years and most of them are apparently the same. Recently, most of the rom-coms are brushed with raunchiness and it's either deleterious or coltish to the movie. Here comes an independent film which is being tagged as “the best romantic comedy film of 2009” and probably “the best and the freshest rom-com of the past 20 years”. Are the critics right about (500) Days Of Summer ? Hmmm...for me this is not the freshest but I think it's really the weirdest. Indeed, the best rom-com of 2009 so far.

FILM PREMISE: Unsuccessful architect turned greeting card writer Tom Hanson is really hexed in love. His best friends McKenzie and Paul constantly criticise him about his desperate and dateless nights. All of that changes the minute he meets a new assistant who hails from Michigan named Summer. She finds him charming and funny. In Tom's sullied eyes, however, she's the girl of his dreams, his soulmate. Over the course of 500 insane days, the two finds something in common . But Summer doesn't believe in love, and that puzzles Tom. She doesn't mind being intimate with him, or spending time with someone she cares about like kissing and making love with each other. With that Tom thinks they're already lovers, officially! But for Summer they're just friends. What happens on the 69th day??? Don't ask.



This film is simply pretty. It's cute but it's weird. The truth is the story is still ordinary but the writers have tried a different formula. The film is being narrated in a nonlinear way. It's like watching the days of the castaways in Survivor but the days are scrambled. First the movie shows their break-up then their first day of meeting immediately follows. Then, as the reel rolls on, we get to see their sweet and sour moments scattered in the entire half . For me, this style is inventive because it is quiet appealing but honestly it is also confusing once you blink or maybe suddenly fall into slumber. It is really important that you must see the days being flashed on the screen. I personally love the story. I can easily relate with Tom's character. The film is richly peppered with hilarious moments and believe me the jokes are really funny. Even though this is a heartbreaking story right from the outset, it still manages to burst some unexpected chuckle in that melancholic situation. The narration sounds a little “Disney” to me though.The best thing about this film is its unpredictability. The ending is really mind blowing!!!!



Hands down to the exquisite filmmaking. The shots are amazing from the first frame of sadness down to the last frame of happiness. I love the nitid cinematography. There is a scene of Tom running in a subway tunnel and for me it's one of the best shots taken in this film. Probably, the remarkable part here is day after their first sex. Tom walks down the street and imagines himself in a musical production number set to the tune of Hall & Oates' "You Make My Dreams." After hearing that song, I immediately searched and saved it in my mp3 player. That scene however reminds me of the musical scene of “That's How You Know” from Enchanted taken in the Central Park.They look almost the same but this one is just short and kinda rocky. I also do this thing in the morning everytime I had a very good sex the night before. What was the song I sang recently? Hmmm..I think it was “So Small” by Carrie Underwood. Don't ask me why but all I can tell that it's really small. Bwa ha ha ha!!! If those technical elements are already enough to thaw my heart, just wait for the songs featured in the entire movie!!!! OH God!!! It's like listening to the soundtrack of Grey's Anatomy. The songs are killing me!!!!





Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel are both brilliant in their roles. They are not the highest-paid actors in the industry but they are truly inspired to do this. Their chemistry is sweet and it makes me giggle watching their quirkiness. Levitt is a perfect deadringer for the late Heath Ledger. Did you know that he is the voice of Jim Hawkins in a Disney film called Treasure Planet? Both of them can really sing a song. Zooey is truly hippie while Joseph is grungy. But for me Levitt rocks the whole film.



At the beginning, the narrator tells that this is not a love story. Like huh? (500) Days of Summer is all about love. I still don't get it why the movie is still claiming that it is not a love story. Anyway, I'm still recommending this inventive rom-com. This could not be the freshest of 'em all but this rom-com is truly watchable in every season. This film can melt the snow in winter, it can even wilt the flowers in spring , it can even surprise a rain in the summer and most of all, the film promises a blooming autumn.