SIDE-SPLITTING PAIN-ESS (OR PENIS)

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL



This film is a surprise hit in the US. With a modest budget it really earned quiet a bunch. There was a strong word of mouth too about Jason Segel's full frontal. Yes yes yes!!! He is so brave to show his wiener. Is he a winner??? Jason Segel is the next “big” thing. This dude can really act even if he is fully undressed!!!!

Peter Bretter played by Segel is happily riding the peak of his career as a composer of a popular TV show as well as having a cutie girlfriend Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell).One day she breaks up with him and he suddenly finds himself alone and broken-hearted. He falls to pieces and decides to spend days in Hawaii to forget Sarah. Unfortunately, she is also in Hawaii staying in the same hotel with her new boyfriend.


This film is from the makers of The 40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked-Up. I love the first but hated the last even if Dr. Izzie is there. I don't get that boring comedy. I just don't get it. Since I really enjoyed that Steve Carell's flick and Gossip Girl is also here, I immediately watched the DVD of Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

This is even better than Knocked Up. I love this one coz there's no drugs involved, no weeds, no ice just sex & hooches. The controversial penis pop-up is not that arousing. It isn't that disturbing too. It is fast and it is quiet sad. Though the last pop-up is side-splitting. There is some “kilig” in the last “hello”.



What's amazing about this film is the humor. It's really fresh and I just love the cleanliness of the script. Believe me I think I didn't hear too much F words here. Sometimes hearing that four letter word really makes me sick moreover when it's also too opprobrious. I was really riant most of the time. God this is so hilarious. Jason Segel is really impressive. He can strike a giggle-punch in a flash. Kristen Bell aka Gossip Girl aka Veronica Mars is astounding too. She's so bold. Look at her acting! She is really mesmerizing. Wow!!! Watch out for this hot actress too named Mila Kunis. She plays Rachel and I think she just overshadowed Bell's pulchritude here. The other supporting actors are really hilarious especially Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock and Mariah's “Touch My Body” Video. Watch out for that sex lesson at the beach. Ha ha ha!!! I was rolling on the floor laughing. Ha ha ha!!!



Watching this film also makes you want to fly to Hawaii immediately. The beach is inviting. I love the tropical location of the film. The place is really awesome for your summer vacation. I read that it was filmed at the Turtle Bay Resort of Oahu, Hawaii.



Unfortunately, there's no cool soundtrack here but that song in which Jason Segel performs here is unputdownable. It sounds like Grace Kelly by Mika based on the way that he arranged it and it has a crazy hook too. I like it.

This film is unforgettable in many ways. It's really raunchy but it's so endearing Don't worry about the nudity in the film coz it's not that perturbing just don't let the kids watch this.

I really recommend this one. This is a surprising film. I just can't wait for Jason Segel's next pop-up I mean next flick.

RATING : 4 / 5 *

MEGA-MOVING BUT MEGA BORING

CAREGIVER

Nag-text sa akin si Inday na out na raw ang DVD ng Caregiver ni Mega Sharon Cuneta. So rent agad ako nito kasi akona lang yata ang hindi nakapanood sa milyon milyon na pumila sa movie na ito. Pero kahit alam ko na kumita talaga ito ng malaki. Lagpas P100M na raw hindi pa rin ako na-convinced na panoorin ito sa big screen. Si Inday lang kasi nagsasabi na maganda pero halos lahat ng mga nababasa ko sa forums eh may mga mixed reviews.

Interesting ang opening scene sa woods. Pero mukhang familiar ang scene na yun sa akin. Hawig ang scene sa “lost in the squatter area” ni Gina Pareño sa Kubrador yun nga lang sa woods naman ang kay Sharon. Kung napanood mo ang scene na yun sa Kubrador yun na yata ang pinakamagandang eksena na nakita ko sa mga pelikulang Pilipino so far. Pero since Caregiver ito pag-usapan na lang natin ang mega movie na ito.

The first 30 minutes ng film ay intro ng buhay ni Sarah (Sharon Cuneta) sa Pilipinas. Lilipad kasi siya papuntang London para maging isang Caregiver. Medyo boring nga ang mga eksena kahit maganda ang pagkakuha ni Chito Roño. Wala gusto ko lang agad makita na ang mga eksena sa London. Marami ng mga crying scenes sa Pilipinas kaso bakit hindi naman ako naiyak.Moving siya pero walang dating ang drama sa akin.

Ang mga eksena sa London ang distubing para sa akin. Hindi ko pinangarap maging isang caregiver o nurse. Nang mapanood ko ito eh lalo akong nalungkot sa mga paghihirap ng mga kababayan natin sa ibang bansa. Ganun ba talaga ang buhay ng mga OFWs? Sad naman pala. Parang ayoko nang mag-abroad tuloy. Masyadong ma-pulitika ang pelikula na ito. Basta parang pinatataman ang pamahalaan natin.

Mega-actress talaga si Sharon. Gusto ko siya sa Crying Ladies at Madrasta pero dito sobrang kapani-paniwala talaga ang acting niya. Lalo na ang make-up niya na simple lang at natural. Deserving uli siya para sa Grandslam Best Actress.

Yung character ni Makisig Morales pampagulo lang sa istorya. Konti lang naman eksena nila Sharon pero bakit ganun na lang reaksiyon ni Mega sa parting ways nila. Medyo OA ang dating na pinilit na drama. Si John Estrada talaga kagulat-gulat kasi pam-Best Actor din ang performance. Yung iba naman display lang.

Magagaling naman silang lahat. Pero kapansin pansin yung young boy na anak ni Mega. Sorry di ko siya kilala pero parang Young Carlo Aquino ang dating niya sa pag-arte at face niya.

Di ko sinabi na panget ito. Masyado lang mahaba at walang saysay ang ibang eksena. Boring talaga minsan. Ano ba talaga gusto nilang mangyari? Ang sumulat pala nito ay si Chris Martinez. Kung familiar ka sa book at stage play niya na Last Order sa Penguin ay baka madisappoint ka kasi walang humor dito. Mega drama nga kaso magulo lang nang konti.

Hindi rin naipakita ang kagandahan ng London naipakita lang ang kalungkutan at kahirapan ng mga kababayan natin sa London. Haayyy... depressing.

Buti naman may nakuha silang mga Briton na magaling umarte.

Maganda ang pagkagawa pelikula na ito kaso...ewan ba.

Pwede mo siyang hindi muna panoorin kung hindi mo pa ito napapanood.

Maghintay ka na lang sa next fight ni Pacquiao sa GMA-7.

I am pretty sure ito ang ipantatapat ng ABS-CBN.

RATING : 3 / 5 *

SMART-AMIABLE-STYLISH-SUPERB-YOUTHFUL (SASSY)

MY SASSY GIRL (2008)

When the Tagalized version of the Korean hit "My Sassy Girl" was released here. I did not watch it. Even if there was a strong word of mouth about that film I chose to buy the DVD of the original. The Korean film is extremely cool, fab and truly refreshing. It is included in my list of best rom-coms to date. Then Hollywood just couldn't get enough of it too, they made the remake which is now in my list too.

The Hollywood remake is still a fresh knock-off from the Korean blockbuster. It has the same essence from the original. But there are differences too.

Charlie (Jesse Bradford), a shy and idealistic college student has never been in love. When he rescues the beautiful and elusive Jordan (Elisha Cuthbert) from falling to her death, his life is changed forever. Jordan engages Charlie in an unusual and eccentric courtship. How many tests will Charlie endure to win the heart of this complicated young woman?

In the Korean film, the two lead characters are not that compatible. Their sassy girl is too comely while the boy is too dorky and not so cutey. Here, Jesse Bradford is really handsome while the new Sassy Girl is too hot and very sexy. Elisha Cuthbert is too fascinating for me. I just love watching her.

The original is a bit longer and this one just took the necessary elements. If you've seen the Korean film a dozen times, I'm sure that you would feel that they made this one a bit speedy. It's still OK oz this one is not too violent compared to the original.

The shots in the original film are just fine. It is too amateurish I must say but the director of the remake is unbelievably amazing. Yann Samuell totally directed a very cool and a very good picture. From the start of the film, I started to thaw slowly and it did not end til the last reel. He really captured great shots which are so mesmerizing. I love it so much. Great job! For your information, he is the auteur that made Marion Cotillard a rising star. Try to rent the French film "Love Me If You Dare". That film is insanely funny just like this one.

There are a lot of kilig moments here which can't be seen in the original. In fact, I was giggling all the time. Jesse Bradford is the perfect gentleman. I just want him to have you know a husky voice. His voice is still boyish. Elisha is not a great actress but she's not that horrible too. She is just hunky-dory here. She is sassy enough and still manages to be scorching on the big screen.

I'm so glad that they released this film here in the Philippines. It's just sad that this film is going straight to DVD in the US. They will release it there on August 26. Come on producers! You made a beautiful picture! You did not murder the original. I love this film so much. This is even great compared to other recent Hollywood rom-coms. This should've been released in the theatres too.

Honestly, I shed some tears here. I did not expect that this film to be so tear jerky at the latter part.Even though I already knew the ending since I knew the whole plot already but still this film made me cry.Why? Maybe because I was overwhelmed with its pulchritude. The whole film is just great. But I do not expect that this will rake awards. This film really completed my year.

Am I recommending this one??? YES ! I believe you will fall in love again. Every rom-com fanatics will treasure this just like me. To the fans of the original film: you won't be disappointed. This will surprise you. Just look at the "art" of the film.

This is truly a sassy film!

RATING : 5 / 5*

THE EMANSTIFFICATION OF ZOHAN

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN



When I first saw the poster of You Don't Mess With The Zohan, I was really giggling. I just couldn't help myself to ogle closely to the poster. Ha ha ha! I even asked myself that time: Is this a “huge” movie? The poster promises something enormous and something campy to me. Guess what??? The movie actually is a laugh riot. Finally, Adam Sandler's “funny beast” is emancipated.

Sandler plays Zohan who is Israel's greatest Mossad agent. He is sick & tired of being a counter-terrorist . He fakes his own demise and pursue his dream: becoming a hairstylist in The Big Apple. Will he bite all the temptations in the city that never sleeps? Cut cut cut and style for me Zohan!!!!



Honestly, I did not expect that this movie would be so erogenous and hilarious. There are some silent guffaws throughout the movie. I wasn't laughing out loud. I wasn't rolling on the floor chortling too. Let me say. I just enjoyed the jokes. Some jokes especially with the hags or let me say the codgers are really funny but doing repetitive shtupping scenes is just too gross. I laughed on the first quaky nookie with Zohan and his happy client but the next hundreds nah... it was kinda boring and I just forced myself to smile.



Zohan's outlandish way of hairstyling makes the movie a hit! It is very rip-roaring and I kinda love it. What's with this Hummus by the way? I am intrigued with this orgasmic Hummus. Ha ha ha!!!

I was shocked when I found that this is PG-13. Huh? I strongly warn the parents not to take your kids in this movie. There are numerous nudity which are really humorous for me but not suitable for minors. C'mon MTRCB! R-13 is still safe for the movie's box office. The shtupping scenes with the codgers are quiet disturbing for them. They will be baffled on what's goin' on “in there”.

The gibberish English-Hebrew accent of all the actors makes me sick too. I couldn't understand on what they are confabulating and what they are grumbling. That's why I'm dying to have the DVD soon and read the correct subtitles again.



Kudos to Adam Sandler and his prodigious wiener! It's a winner! Those high school studs who are sitting at the back of my seat were really amused with it. They were palpably astonished to gander something stupendous from Zohan. Sandler is really good and I'm still a fan after watching him here. I bet other fans will still love him.

This is also good for the Philippines coz two Fil-Am actors manage to spice up this movie. As usual Sandler's good friend Rob Schnieder is here again and I am also glad to see Alec Mapa on the big screen for the first time.

You Don't Mess With The Zohan is really funny if you get the jokes. If you're too conservative, you betta stay away and pray your rosary always. This is not for you. To all Mimi fans: c'mon you must watch this coz she's all over the film. She is “body-hugged” on Zohan most of the time when he is just not naked. She has a cameo too.I love Mariah so much!



I am only recommending this movie for the riot crowd. If you are too sane, just stay at home and you may skip this. But I'm just really curious about the Hummus and the bush!
Ha ha ha!!!!

RATING : 3.5 / 5*

BEAUTY AND SADNESS

DONSOL




Lasy year pa ako naghahanap ng DVD o kaya VCD ng Donsol simula noong malaman ko na ito pala ang official entry ng Philippines sa Foreign Language Category sa Oscars. Alam ko humakot din ito ng mga awards sa iba't ibang International Screenings. Kaso wala talaga sa Video City at ibang video outlets.. Ilang beses ko na silang kinukulit. Wala daw talaga. Paano yan di ko man lang alam kung ano itong meron sa “Donsol” at bakit maraming awards na nakuha.

Gawa ito ni Adolf Alix Jr. Siya ang auteur ng Batanes at DayBreak. Napanood ko itong dalawa at pareho kong nagustuhan kahit medyo may holes sa script. Kaya Donsol na lang talaga kulang ko. Wala na akong choice kundi kausapin ang kaibigan ko na mahilig mag-shopping sa Quiapo. Alam mo na Dibidi Dibidi! Baka sakaling may makita lang siya doon na pirata kasi curious lang talaga ako. Matiyaga talaga siya maghanap doon at guess what after 6 months na paghahanap may nakita siya!!! Natuwa naman ako. P10 lang ha? Kasi walang casing at yun bang ukay ukay lang sa kalye. Ha ha ha! Desperado na talaga at yun kinagat namin. Curious din kasi siya kasi pareho namin itong di napanood sa sinehan. Papa Edu pasensiya na ha bumili kami ng Dibidi!

So pinanood ko na nga. Pero tinext ko muna si Inday at Dodong bago ko sinalang sa player ko. I txtd them kung busy sila at may panoorin sana akong Tagalog movie yung Donsol. Wala silang idea nito sabi ko lang humakot ito ng maraming awards at Indie film siya. Well, tapos na raw sa paglalaba si Inday at si Dodong naman mamaya pa niya susunduin ang amo niya sa office.

10 minutes pa lang medyo nalokah na si Inday. Hindi naman daw yata ito nakakakilig. Sabi ko maghintay ka baka mamaya pa yan. 35 minutes na lumipas super serious pa rin ang film ni Alix. May ilang humor sa ilang dialogues pero hindi maka-relate si Inday. Naguguluhan siya kung saan tutungo ang story nito. Honestly, ako ganun din ang reaction ko. Slow ang start ng film papuntang gitna na ewan ano ba gusto nilang palabasin. What is goin' on ba? Ok Art film talaga!



Tungkol kasi ito sa mga divers (BIO) na tumutulong bilang guide ng mga turista sa Donsol kapag peak season na ng pagbisita ng mga butanding aka whale sharks. Ito ang trabaho ni Daniel (Sid Lucero), ito ang ikinabubuhay niya at masaya sa ganito. Nagbago ang takbo ng buhay sa pagbisita muli ng batang biyuda na si Teresa ginampanan ni Angel Aquino sa Donsol.



Well, ang hirap maka-attach sa mga characters dito lalo na kung masayahin ka tulad ni Inday at Dodong. Pero ang masasabi ko lang ay ang gagaling ng mga artista rito from the lead and supporting actors pati na rin mga cameos nina Mark Gil at Bembol Rocco. Si Sid Lucero talaga ang nagdala ng pelikula. Ang galing niya talaga. Kayang-kaya niya ang Bicolano accent. Kahit nognog siya dito cute pa rin.Sino pala make-up artist niya at grabe naman sa kapal ang make-up at sunog sunog masyado. Sayang hindi siya masyado nag-daring kahit maraming underwater scenes. Hunk itong si Sid ah! Bilib na bilib ako sa underwater breakdown scene niya. Nadala ako doon. Ganda ng pagkagawa.



Si Angel naman ay talagang nagampanan niya ang lungkot at pighati ng character niya. Kaya pala nanalo siyang Best Actress.Wala kang magawa kundi maawa sa kanya. Makulit ang character ni Cherie Gil dito bilang kaibigan ni Angel. Si Jaclyn Jose as usual ay talagang batikan na. Meron ding hindi masyadong kilalang extra. Si Tetay yung bading. Patawa siya rito. Mantakin mo kahit mataba at baklang di kagandahan pintatulan ng isang British. Nawindang ako sa kanya! Nakakatawa minsan mga hirit niya.

Pero kahit nandito si Tetay masyadong serious at malungkot pa rin ang film na ito. Kaya binabalaan ko ang mga mahihilig sa pa-tweetums na hindi nyo pelikula ito. Baka mabuwisit ka lang. Pero nagagandahan naman ako pero hindi ko siya ni-re-recommend para sa lahat. Ang target nito ay ang mga Indie Lovers at mga nature lovers. Mysterious kasi masyado ang screenplay. Yun bang pag-iisipan mo talaga. From a lazy start tapos lazy pa rin afterwards tapos biglang nagising ka tapos babagsakan ka ng lungkot! Hanep ano? Original talaga! Yung music na ginamit cool ang dating kasi ethnic na ethnic. Hindi kasi natapos ng nag-pirata ang end credits kaya di ko nalaman. Ha ha ha! Pero based sa tunog parang si Joey Ayala yata gumawa.



Higit sa lahat magaganda talaga mga kuha ni Alix. Hindi ako disappointed. Basta art na art talaga. Bilib ako sa mga underwater scenes ng mga butanding at mga divers kaso hindi lang masyadong clearwater ang dagat sa Donsol. Nakaka-relax lang panoorin ang mga bading este butanding pala.. Maganda rin ang ilang backdrops ng mga eksena lalo na yung sa falls at pag sunset.



Ang maganda dito ay na-promote ang turismo ng Donsol at hindi yung pag-promote mga gahaman na advertisements sa mga pelikula na kumikita sa takilya. Hmmppp.

Natuwa ako at napanood ko na ito at last! Teka ano ba ang nangyari kina Inday at Dodong? Well, nakatulog si Dodong sa sofa buti hindi naghubad ng short kasi naka-brief lang kasi pag natutulog ito samantalang si Inday ay naging busy sa kanyang unlimited txtng. In short, di nila na-enjoy ito. Panonoorin na lang daw uli nila sina Sarah at JL sa Linggo. Ililibre daw nila uli ako! Waaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Pag nagkapera ako... pupunta talaga ako sa Donsol!



RATING : 3.5 / 5 *

MAS ENJOY PA AKO SA PIZZA SPECIAL!

A VERY SPECIAL LOVE

Wala talaga akong balak na panoorin itong pinilit na love team ng Star Cinema. Hindi naman ako fan ni Sarah at John Lloyd. So nagsangla pa talaga sa pawnshop ang kapitbahay kong maid na si Inday kasi gusto niya raw magpasama sa MOA at ililibre pa rin daw niya ako ng pizza na ini-endorse ni JL. Doon daw kami manonood ng bagong pelikula ni Sarah sa Imax.Matagal na niyang pangarap makapanood sa IMAX. Naku sabi ko hindi naman pang-IMAX ang pelikulang “A Very Special Love”. Nalungkot talaga ang bruha ko kasi gusto pa naman niya makita ng malaki sa screen ang face nina Sarah at JL. Wala kaming choice kundi sa ordinary theater na lang pero sa MOA pa rin. Sinama na rin namin si Dodong kasi GF naman niya si Inday. Guide lang ako doon sa MOA baka kasi maligaw sila sa kaiikot at mapunta pa saan saan.

Ayan watch na kami. Excited super si Inday. Ano ba yan? Puno ang sinehan blockbuster pala ito! Ayoko pa naman ng punuan sa loob naiirita ako kasi kahit hindi nakakatawa maraming nagtatawanan. Tiniis ko na lang para sa mga kaibigan ko. Tutal libre naman. 15 minutes na kami sa loob pero gusto ko nang mag-walk-out. Hindi ko na kayang tapusin ito. Pero konting tiis na lang for my friends.

Ang corny ng istorya. Nakakapanghina. As usual isang mahirap na babae name niya Laida tapos nakapasok sa isang company na may masungit at guwapong boss name niya Miggy. As usual iisnabin si girl pero todo ngiti pa rin si girl kasi crush niya kasi. Todo pagtatanggol sa boss niya. Tapos napuno si Girl biglang layas . Then ma-re-realize ni boy na he need her. Asus ilang beses ko nang napanood itong eksena. Ano ito parang Ugly Betty ang style din? O siya siya. Tuloy pa rin ang pinilit na kilig. Mga pa-tweetums na scene. Nakakakilig ba? Siguro sa iba. Hindi naman bagay ang dalawa kasi.

Sa acting talagang lahat ng eksena dalang dala ni JL. Lalo na yung mga eksena niya sa family niya. . Kapamilya talaga siya. Iniisip niya na kapamilya ako dapat makapamilya din acting ko. Ganun talaga! He he Joke lang. JL is a very good actor. Si Sarah..hmmmm... baka magalit mga fans niya pag sinabi ko totoo. Ok magaling siyang kumanta. Yun lang.

Nakakabilib ang mga supporting roles pero nangibabaw sa lahat ang acting ni Irma Adlawan. Madalas kong napapanood si Irma sa mga Indie films at naging fan ako sa” Mga Pusang Gala”. Ang galing niya doon. Bakit nga ba nasali si Joross dito? Mag-Extra Joss kaya muna siya wala kasi siyang energy sa lahat ng mga eksena niya.

Habang nag-ngingitngit na ako sa inis kasi nga ang ingay sa loob dahil nagtatawanan nga sila. Aba sila Inday at Dodong naghaharutan rin sa kilig. Naku mas kinilig pa ako sa kanila kaysa pinapanood ko sa sine. Naloka ako sa dalawa. Naghihiyaw si Inday sa tuwa. Grabbee talaga si Inday enjoy niya ang movie ng idol niya. Aba naiyak din si Inday sa dibdib ni Dodong doon sa isang drama scene daw. Ewan ko ba kung matatawag kong drama yun. Basta style style lang. Kakagatin naman pala ng masa ito!

Bakit ba si Molina na lang palagi director ng mga rom-com daw ng Star Cinema? Wala na ba iba? Overrated naman gawa niya.

Hay salamat natapos na rin at pinapatugtog na ang themesong na “A Very Special Love”. Magaling talaga na singer si Sarah. Si Inday LSS na rin sa themesong. Feel na feel niyang kantahin. Request niya i-download ko raw agad sa Limewire an g kanta kasi maganda raw talaga. Ha ha ha! Kaloka siya!

Bakit ba A Very Special Love? Hindi naman special masyado? Naku bahala na kayo kung gusto niyong mapanood nito! Basta based sa experience ko nabuwisit ako. Pero feel na feel naman nila Inday at Dodong ano? Kung fan ka ka siguro mag-eenjoy ka nito!

I’m sorry kung harsh ako masyado. Opinion ko lang ito.

RATING : 2 / 5*- ni Jishcand

RATING: 5 /5* - ni Inday at Dodong